It’s prediction season, but rather than parrot off what everyone else is saying, we thought we’d make five predictions that probably won’t happen:

New nanobots defeat Covid

Time to dust off your fancy clothes because Covid is over and so is social distancing! A new tech start-up will beat the likes of Meta and Elon Musk to build nanobots that can identify and kill Covid in seconds. Of course, the downside is we won’t be able to die as the nanobots keep fixing dying cells, too…

Meta rebrands to Facebook

All hell breaks out when the metaverse implodes. A lack of proper security results in an almighty cyber attack which renders the metaverse totally useless. Unfortunately people in the metaverse during the attack cannot leave. Meta rebrands back to Facebook to distance itself from the horror but it’s not making much of a difference. Which leads to the next prediction…

TikTok buys WhatsApp

The fallout from the metaverse imploding leaves Facebook scrambling for cash as families of those stuck in the metaverse sue the company for billions. In an attempt to stay afloat it sells Whatsapp to TikTok, which bridges the messaging platform with its social media site. What does this mean for E2EE and consumer data? Questions loom about whether TikTok can keep consumer data secure.

Google goes bankrupt

The biggest story of 2022 – Google goes bankrupt. Turns out the online advertising bots raking in money for the company have actually been stealing data and syphoning money. The fallout is so huge Google topples and the hero we never wanted returns – Ask Jeeves.

Oracle launches Tech VR glasses

Oracle uses its cloud expertise to build cloud-enabled VR glasses. The glasses scan your eyes and adjust size, scale and colour to meet your needs. They even correct colour blindness. The downside is they’re only for business use; joining virtual meetings, designing cars, training etc. Games are strictly forbidden, which leads to workers creating their own games from business use cases. 

In all seriousness, though, 2022 looks set to be an incredible year for tech across all industries. The insurance industry is waking up to tech innovation like the finance industry did; advertising technology is finally starting to put consumers first; cybersecurity is evolving at a rapid and very exciting pace to save us from, well, ourselves; automation is getting increasingly smarter beyond boring repetitive tasks to predicting the future. Technology can make the impossible possible, and us at Positive are very excited to see what new tech emerges this coming year.